Before Sunrise, A Reflection (not a review)

The movie I get to see for the first time, twice.

I recently watched Before Sunrise and felt as though I was listening to my own train of thoughts through someone else’s voice.

Celine, the female lead, made me feel inexplicably seen. Each quip, monologue, joke, passionate outburst, affectionate reflection that she had, I had also said/done/thought the same. I have never identified that fully with a character before, thought it feels odd to think of her as a made up person because whoever wrote her seemed to have written themselves or someone they love into a character.

I admired her calm but passion. Her fiery comments but composure, and her gentle openness to ask questions when something may have caused her feelings of unease. It’s hard to explain; I felt as thought I was hearing an hour and a half long conversation I have had before.

It was like watching a memory on screen, and after it was over, I just kept thinking, there are people out there with a mind like my own. Who internalize so deeply, who are their own worst enemy and the only person holding themselves back is themselves, who spiral into existentialism just as quickly as they’re able to get themselves out of that dark place and devote that chaos into a passion project or finding a solution.

Not to mention her playful banter with the male lead, reminded me of my own relationship and the conversations I have with my partner. While Joe is not Jesse, in many ways this push and pull of compromise and compassion alongside disagreement and in-depth discussions reminded me of the hours him and I spend talking. In our most recent trip to France together, it was just like the movie, wandering streets, commenting on new things, reflecting on our lives before one another and after, with each other. I never wanted it to stop, and honestly it hasn’t.

It’s still the complete pleasure of each other’s company that puts us at ease, and the mastery of communicating with one another that makes each moment we share with each other so peaceful even in a fiery conversation that I so love to have.

Now, this was not about my relationship, as much as it sounds, but actually about what else I love.

Good writing and drawing.

To preface, I will be rewatching Before Sunrise as soon as I can, but when I watched the movie the first time, I didn’t watch it the whole time. I was drawing as well.

Even though my computer was inches from my face, I was looking at my pen and paper half of the time. It was a back and forth of loving every second of the film, but also loving every second of what I was creating (which just so happened to be 3 landscape pieces of Paris, Portland, and Salzburg).

Cinema buffs may be grimacing at the thought of me doing this director such a dishonor by not watching the movie the way it was intended, but this movie still made me cry and laugh and have a smile on my face nearly the entire film.

In a monologue movie such as this, it was actually perfect for a multitasking artist.

While I don’t think I watched the movie how I was meant to, when I watch Before Sunrise again, there will be moments I did not see the first time.

Only from mostly just listening, did I watch one of the best movies ever made.

Now, when I watch it for a second time I get to fall in love (again) with not just the writing and delivery of the actors, but the visuals and cinematography.

Maybe it’s silly, but in a way, I managed to obtain that magical gift of being able to watch a movie again for the first time.